emotional collage: if you shout honesty, the void will shout it back
spent most of my time in college working as a tutor. I was a music education
major at the time and had been lucky enough to stumble into the gig by way of a genuinely kind football coach named Andy that frequented the bar where I waitressed. The athletic
center had been searching desperately for someone to tutor Music 101, a class
that students were placed in under the assumption that it would be a blow off class.
Little did they know that Music 101 was taught by the most unforgiving of
musical scholars - jazz program grad students. Only one semester passed before I was tutoring pretty much every subject they needed, other than math
and chemistry. Those were a hard pass for me. My students were all athletes,
a lifestyle with which I was unfamiliar that made me love it all the more. I
learned something from every single student I worked with. It remains my
favorite job to this day.
Self portrait, 3/7/20
It can be so easy to become afraid of connection. It can be even easier to fall into the mindset that we as individuals are impossible to connect with. As I try to spill my guts on this silly little blog, I wonder who could ever understand the nuance and complexity of my pain - especially when I am trying to further the nuance out of shame. I will find myself writing in short, weird sentences and idioms in an attempt to craft something that allows me to hide myself from whoever might be reading. And though I find it freeing when nobody cares, I cannot ignore the importance of when somebody does. I am humbled every time I am told that someone read something I wrote. Having the courage to relate to one another in honesty intrinsically makes all those involved less alone. The nets of our experiences, especially when shared with others, reach so much farther than we could ever think. Our pain is never as alienating as we believe. Our triumphs are never as insignificant as they seem.
Self portrait, 3/7/20
My email is email@example.com – I have also included it in my sidebar bio. I am here to listen to you, just as you have listened to me. Sending love to all. ☼